Zer0

I'm lying on my bed. If i unpack my bag i'll be able to go to sleep. If i don't, i can lie here longer. Which will i pick?

Decisions always lead to a set of consequences. When you choose a certain path you will, naturally, be unable to take the other. The problem here is that you never know where the other path leads. There is no such thing as ceterus paribus in real life. You can't just substitute an ideal into a situation. Things will not turn out the same.

It is really sad to say that i regret alot of the choices i have made. I still make such choices and suffer the endless consequences. To err is human; to continue in the pattern is just plain dumb. Well, not exactly. As i have mentioned here before, being aware of something and actually acting to change the situation are 2 very different things. I'm not that dense - i can see what is wrong around me. I understand, too, that if i were to turn back the clock now, i might not have made a different choice. But to make mistakes in all the different areas of my life is just frustrating.

At this stage, nothing can be done anymore.
I don't know what to think. I'm fatigued. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I'm trying to examine the reasons as to why i'm in this stinking cesspool now. If only things were more clear-cut. If only danger was marked out with blaring sirens and bright lights all the time. Oh how i lament my fickle mindedness and muddled half-baked decisions.

drifting in and out of sleep as i try to finish this post, all i can say is: i'll pick the alternate ending, please.