in too deep

shit.

i wanted to go to acjc. i thought that if i achieved better results than that of my prelims, or if i just passed my higher chinese and get the other 2 bonus points, i would go to acjc. it's a better school than sajc, i thought. academically, in any case.


now, i'm intimidated by stories of rich brats. spoilt brats. those selfish gits and their bossy and egoistic ways. but it's not that i haven't heard these stories before. i'm sure there would be cliques already formed, from both secondary school, and the 1st three months. some might not be willing to let an outsider in!

i feel that i have friends in sajc. these people are, well, different.
is it because i have been in a chinese school for 4 yrs so i findi fit in better now? or is it just because we're getting to know each other, so the differences have not set us apart just as yet?


you can't miss what you don't even know existed.
thing is, i do already know how it feels like to fit in. somewhat. at least i'm not an outcast. these people don't laugh at me, they laugh with me. we can get along as a group. they help me along as i noobishly try out new stuffs.

i don't dare to leave these people behind. i could just make new friends in acjc but, well, i just don't feel good leaving these people, who accept me as i am, behind!

by the way, you dudes and dudettes out there havoe no idea how no-life i am. i don't play sports. i don't play pc games. i don't do what most other "norma" people do.
sometimes i feel like one big chunk of my life is missing.
where did i go wrong?
where was i when all you people were playing soccer with your friends, or basketball or anything at all?
how come i didn't realise i missed it until the point that i became a bloody no-lifer loser?
i feel these insecurities have affected me in many ways.

yes, i know, at first sight you would never guess that i am the person i just described. but it's true and well, i'm telling you that now.
i know it's really weird and all but this is how i feel, yes it is.



i've more or less decided that i want to stay on in sajc.

if ure happy there ull learn to take these type of things in ur stride lor
said one crazy dude. -winks

i guess i will. embrace it. BRING IT ONN.